xanthan gum

start over and try again - i suppose i agree with incandescence out of all of these critiques. i would change the title, nonetheless, because realizing fault and accepting discouragement ...

omit a "..." the lines get longer as they go, but the rhythm didn't crash and burn. this has a definite point, it wasn't forced, and sounded very good. great ...

over was supposed to be "love" typos, typos =[

you know i was at a school dance that night? hmmm just date was horrible. =/ i loved your use of cutting out letters: 'nd 'n' that made it flow ...

I miss the eyes that gazed my way The brown hazel hues of your eyes that penetrated into mine Each time you were so close In the moment that you ...

mmm. this seems far more grand and dramatic than your latest work. the beginning was full of many...creative ways to sum up over-big-ego-ness. i liked how you tied it in ...

the ending crashed and burned the entire point of the poem, but it made me snort laughter a bit, so i suppose that's probaby the point of that ending. otherwise, ...

Life’s bittersweet Like tears and a smiling face The hills to roll down faster, faster So beautiful In graceful passing - shattering like any other tear but in twice the ...

omit the fifth stanza. otherwise it had good images. it wasn't the best of the best, but i can relate to the speaker, and, as such, i have a certain ...

please don't try to rhyme so much. and don't sacrifice the rhythm for that rhyme. thoughtout this, you HAD no rhythm. i mean, the poem had a definite point and ...

that leads to the fairy lands where dreams live and breathe. shorten or divide this line. though all of your lines are long, this is the only one that is ...

The fire’s licking tongues Cast whispers without tune And they’ve caught me in the darkness Where the garish marks that make me beautiful Flicker into some cloudy depths Of half-melted ...

so sorry for the bad critique, but i'm in a rush. i'll get back to this poem later, or at least try to. one quick statement: the ~'s look weird. ...

i just wanted to say that i say this on the home page and i just HAD to read it..and open reading reflected exactly what's going on in my life ...

this was...okay. sort of rap-like. i don't have much to say on this, and for that I apologize.